Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Heroes
20 years ago me and Idan going out almost every night,He is driving me back home and always the last song was David Bowie " Heroes ".When the song was over I left the car and went home.We always waited for the song to finish so sometimes we stayed in car in front of my home for few minutes.We were such great friends ....
???????
Spoke to a friend tonight ,He told me that if he could go back in time he would change many things.What do I think about that?
Lost in music feel so alive.
Got a birthday gift from U a MP4, So exciting....Takes me back to my youth when I used to spend the nights listening and dancing to music.
22 years to 20 years to Sgt Paper
Yesterday in the shower I went back to 1987 when the world celebrated 20 years to Sgt. Paper,I was such a big fan of John Lennon and the Beatles that time and I used t listen to " The Magical Mystery Tour"- A radio program by Yoav Kotner about the Beatles every day.I remember that "20 years ago" sounded to me so far away ages and ages ago, now it is suddenly looks like yesterday or even few hours ago!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Is there Wi Fi on Mars?
Trying ,( and failing),to figure out how could I live ,( especially in China), without the Internet.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
getting older in Lido Park
On Wednesday on the way from the swimming pool to the Lido Market, I went to the park.
Usually I am not in such a mode and if I have some time I would go back home to the computer, but Wednesday was something special , the snow and special light made Beijing look like Paris .
The snow is something that is easy to imagine but the light was really something unusual here , we don't have this kind of light in Beijing often, it was very pale one ,a much softer version of the usuall, a feeling of a long twilight in the afternoon.
Even the "soundtrack" of the day was different , maybe it is because of the light or because of the snow that kept people back home, but it was much different than the sound of an aerage afternoon in Beijing.
Lido Park was almost empty when I sat on a bench ,I was staring on the lake breathing the icy air with almost absolute silence around.
Suddenly it came to my head that I am getting so old, not because I am 37 in 2 weeks , but because it is so hard for me to feel like before. Just 10 years ago a similar day in this park will blow my mind, I would feel excited and ideas will fly in my head, imaging things ,making plans for the future, flying a way ....
Now it is so different I am so much unmoved by things happening around me and places and people I see .
I miss being a child ,a young boy that wss so excited from everty little thing.
Usually I am not in such a mode and if I have some time I would go back home to the computer, but Wednesday was something special , the snow and special light made Beijing look like Paris .
The snow is something that is easy to imagine but the light was really something unusual here , we don't have this kind of light in Beijing often, it was very pale one ,a much softer version of the usuall, a feeling of a long twilight in the afternoon.
Even the "soundtrack" of the day was different , maybe it is because of the light or because of the snow that kept people back home, but it was much different than the sound of an aerage afternoon in Beijing.
Lido Park was almost empty when I sat on a bench ,I was staring on the lake breathing the icy air with almost absolute silence around.
Suddenly it came to my head that I am getting so old, not because I am 37 in 2 weeks , but because it is so hard for me to feel like before. Just 10 years ago a similar day in this park will blow my mind, I would feel excited and ideas will fly in my head, imaging things ,making plans for the future, flying a way ....
Now it is so different I am so much unmoved by things happening around me and places and people I see .
I miss being a child ,a young boy that wss so excited from everty little thing.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Wife
I am pretty sure that Yu to some extend is insane I don't know if I have anyresponsibility but I feel very sorry for it . The fact is that me although not using my full potential and often committing sins that make me hate myself , still after all is a happy person. But Yu just can't be happy. It makes me even more sad when I understand she will never be Happy, cause she doesn't know what happiness means and she is probably to old to learn. It is such a shame, a waste of life of someone so talented and beautiful , that just don't know how and for what to live.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
A way
I was planing to write this piece yesterday and everything was already organized in my head, but now when I am sitting in front of the computer it is hard again to describe it, I have to think it all over again.
Basically what I am trying to describe is the fact that probably I am not the right guy to run a family life, or any normal life at all.
I am lazy corrupted and more than anything else concentrated in my self and in what I find interesting and exciting to satisfy me desires and I don't care about any one around me , especily the closest .
It is very sad and disappointing but that's my life.
If I have to choose something that makes me happy and "my self" more than anything else it is probably going to a new place for the first time.
Seeing things I never saw before and walking by my self , as a total stranger in a new space.
No one knows me , I am alone, no responsibilities ,small money in my pocket, and I am walking walking....Smiling to a beautiful girl , eating a cheap snack in the street and living in my own reality.
busy doing "new" things , meeting " new people "and seeing " new places".
Before I was sure I love my wife, many times lying in bed seeing her sleeping I taught to my self that she is more important to me than myself...Maybe it was truth when it happened , but I am not so sure at all, I am so selfish, and that's probably just what I felt comfortable to think that moment.
The bottom line that I am bad and don't have much moral standards when it comes to people that are relay close to me,( actually for people that are less close I am more or less ok).
I don't know where I am going to lead my self , but I am grateful for what I got so far....It is much more than I deserve.
Still I feel I am not happy, first because hurting so many people in your life is bad and second because I am not doing what I should do.
I think I have a potential to do something good in this life, I just not sure what and how.
Basically what I am trying to describe is the fact that probably I am not the right guy to run a family life, or any normal life at all.
I am lazy corrupted and more than anything else concentrated in my self and in what I find interesting and exciting to satisfy me desires and I don't care about any one around me , especily the closest .
It is very sad and disappointing but that's my life.
If I have to choose something that makes me happy and "my self" more than anything else it is probably going to a new place for the first time.
Seeing things I never saw before and walking by my self , as a total stranger in a new space.
No one knows me , I am alone, no responsibilities ,small money in my pocket, and I am walking walking....Smiling to a beautiful girl , eating a cheap snack in the street and living in my own reality.
busy doing "new" things , meeting " new people "and seeing " new places".
Before I was sure I love my wife, many times lying in bed seeing her sleeping I taught to my self that she is more important to me than myself...Maybe it was truth when it happened , but I am not so sure at all, I am so selfish, and that's probably just what I felt comfortable to think that moment.
The bottom line that I am bad and don't have much moral standards when it comes to people that are relay close to me,( actually for people that are less close I am more or less ok).
I don't know where I am going to lead my self , but I am grateful for what I got so far....It is much more than I deserve.
Still I feel I am not happy, first because hurting so many people in your life is bad and second because I am not doing what I should do.
I think I have a potential to do something good in this life, I just not sure what and how.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
A request
I know you already so much, what you are and what you don't.
And what you can't even all the words in the world wont make you see.
So I wont spend my time trying to change you any more.
But one request I still have:
In crazy times, when you lose your sense and you become so depressed remember one thing,
You have a man , that is always with you so deep, never apart.
And what you can't even all the words in the world wont make you see.
So I wont spend my time trying to change you any more.
But one request I still have:
In crazy times, when you lose your sense and you become so depressed remember one thing,
You have a man , that is always with you so deep, never apart.
Norway and India
Read this morning a report about Norway economy in NYT,
It is amazing to compare Norway GDP - a country of 4 million people to India with its 1.1 billion
Norway GDP in 2008 was 456,226 Billion and India 1,209,686 Billion.
It is crazy, GDP of 4 million people is around 40% of the total GDP of 1.1 billion .
It is amazing to compare Norway GDP - a country of 4 million people to India with its 1.1 billion
Norway GDP in 2008 was 456,226 Billion and India 1,209,686 Billion.
It is crazy, GDP of 4 million people is around 40% of the total GDP of 1.1 billion .
Monday, May 11, 2009
Paul Krugman In China- Hilarious
People are paying 58000 RMB ,( almost 9,000$!), to sit in the front row and listen to Paul Krugman.
The Office
Does it make sense to open an office?
Not sure at all with the amount of money we make so far...
Not sure at all with the amount of money we make so far...
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Beijing/ A sugestion for a documentary .
I have an excellent idea for a documentary : The unbelievable change of Beijing from a city that used to be actualy a big village, with small family oriented integrated communities living in every street,( Huotongs). To a huge post modern mega city, LA style.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
World war 2 winners and losers/ email to D
Today in Mendi house you spoke about the fact that Russia is actually the big winner of the second world world, didn't answer you immediatly but I am not sure I can agree with you.First it is very hard to calculate winners and losers in this war ,take Japan and Germany that lost the war but became ,( with American money of course),a symbol of an economic revival .
From the other hand you can look at England one of the big winners of the war that had to give up its entire empire and become " Just another country " ,( with a seat in the security council ).
Russia became a big winner for a while,( no more than 30 years), but lost all its concession plus other territories it gained before the war ,( Ukraine), and disintegrated to become an unstable corrupted country with declining population and a shattered economy.
The two absolute winners of the second world war and the cold war are actually first and for most America that left beyond a deep depression and isolation to became the strongest super power and the leader of the free world.The second winner is China that was able to receive as a result of Japan defeat huge amount of disputed territories : the Russian part of Manchuria , inner Mongolia Xinjang and Tibet, that probably couldn't become " Chinese " other wise.Not to mention the seat in the security council.
From the other hand you can look at England one of the big winners of the war that had to give up its entire empire and become " Just another country " ,( with a seat in the security council ).
Russia became a big winner for a while,( no more than 30 years), but lost all its concession plus other territories it gained before the war ,( Ukraine), and disintegrated to become an unstable corrupted country with declining population and a shattered economy.
The two absolute winners of the second world war and the cold war are actually first and for most America that left beyond a deep depression and isolation to became the strongest super power and the leader of the free world.The second winner is China that was able to receive as a result of Japan defeat huge amount of disputed territories : the Russian part of Manchuria , inner Mongolia Xinjang and Tibet, that probably couldn't become " Chinese " other wise.Not to mention the seat in the security council.
Friday, May 8, 2009
I am coming back
The everyday life power....From being so upset and angry getting used to reality again.
Life is in another place
That's the feeling I had coming back from Korea,a very hard landing....Everything looks so dark and boring.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Happines
There is probably nothing in my life that's make me more happy than traveling , its a fact.And this fact is made from 2 parameters : a )First and for most I am the happiest person in the world when I travel ,( or at least the happiest person that I know), ...I am so myself in traveling so focused and so connected.
b) The "after the trip" feeling...Summarising and counting the countries and places I already visited till now, something that I do so often.
b) The "after the trip" feeling...Summarising and counting the countries and places I already visited till now, something that I do so often.
Back from Korea
Its a hard landing....
Feel so frustrated and nervous coming back to the everyday of Beijing,
I didn't even understand how much good it was in Korea till I found myself back in Beijing.
Hope this feeling will be over by lunch...
Feel so frustrated and nervous coming back to the everyday of Beijing,
I didn't even understand how much good it was in Korea till I found myself back in Beijing.
Hope this feeling will be over by lunch...
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
A ahppy phone call
Just got a phone from Yu, she doesn't want me to go to Korea, she is worried about the Pig Flu and about the visa.
I know her much better- she is just want me to stay with her...
I know her much better- she is just want me to stay with her...
Monday, April 27, 2009
The Yu in me
Since the first time, (almost ), I saw Y I knew that this was it- from her side and from mine.
Very hard to explain how she came to my life so instantly, after a day or two she already came with bicycle , shorts and blue sandals, she lied in my bed and farted! I couldn't believe it! How did she dare??
I am so amazed how it happened so quickly , after a month Y already tried to get pregnant I can't really understand why....Did she tried to run from something when she found me? Was it me and was it the shadow behind her....
From my side of course it is not a question , As I wrote before I can't even imagine how is it to live with out her and I can't even think how I lived with her before we were together.
I am not so sure how it is possible but my love ,( actually maybe love is not right word - connection might be more accurate), is so strong for her.
There is nothing in my life that is coming close to how much it is ...It hurts but it is true.
Still I always have a feeling that although she loves me so much,( probably even more than I love her), she is living in a feeling that she is missing something.
That "Life is in another place".
She is in a kind of Limbo: from one hand she loves and jealous and connected and can't live with out me but from the other hand she is yearning for a life that she believes are waiting for her somewhere with someone else. A perfect life without any comprises like she has to face with me.
And I am with her in this situation....So one day is good and the next again troubling and one day we stay forever and the next" lets divorce tomorrow" ...
No understating not the same targets in life , not the same values ,not the same habits and even not the same language!
Probably her English wont be good enough and my Chinese wont be good enough even be able to communicate reasonably!
We are so different, nothing almost the same, and we are so together.
Very hard to explain how she came to my life so instantly, after a day or two she already came with bicycle , shorts and blue sandals, she lied in my bed and farted! I couldn't believe it! How did she dare??
I am so amazed how it happened so quickly , after a month Y already tried to get pregnant I can't really understand why....Did she tried to run from something when she found me? Was it me and was it the shadow behind her....
From my side of course it is not a question , As I wrote before I can't even imagine how is it to live with out her and I can't even think how I lived with her before we were together.
I am not so sure how it is possible but my love ,( actually maybe love is not right word - connection might be more accurate), is so strong for her.
There is nothing in my life that is coming close to how much it is ...It hurts but it is true.
Still I always have a feeling that although she loves me so much,( probably even more than I love her), she is living in a feeling that she is missing something.
That "Life is in another place".
She is in a kind of Limbo: from one hand she loves and jealous and connected and can't live with out me but from the other hand she is yearning for a life that she believes are waiting for her somewhere with someone else. A perfect life without any comprises like she has to face with me.
And I am with her in this situation....So one day is good and the next again troubling and one day we stay forever and the next" lets divorce tomorrow" ...
No understating not the same targets in life , not the same values ,not the same habits and even not the same language!
Probably her English wont be good enough and my Chinese wont be good enough even be able to communicate reasonably!
We are so different, nothing almost the same, and we are so together.
The world is (Mo)flat(a)
Yesterday had a chat with Dror about Israelis living in Romania and coming back home to Israel for the weekend, the fact the joureny takes only 2 hours is more than amazing in historical prospectives.
We spoke about our grandparents and gran grand parents who lived in east Europe for hundreds of years and dreamt about Erez Yisrael , but the distance was so huge! They couldn't even imagine traveling there.
Now everything is so simple, you can get anywhere is the world so fast and so easy, and if you are a member of the global middle class, you can travel anywhere in the world without such an effort.
The thing is that from one hand it is relay fantastic and unbelievable that we can travel so much and so easy, but the other side of the coin is that things are becoming the same and the world is actually becoming too small and boring.
Because of the traveling revolution and the communication revolution places looks so much the same and we the travelers because we travel so much are becoming less sensitive and excited about places we visit. It takes much more if at all - to move us.
I can recall my father describe to me his visits to Japan and America and sixties, everything was so new and exciting to him, the first time he landed in NY and the first time he tasted Ketchup and ate hamburger.
That kind of experince is something that very few people in our world stil have the chance to taste...
We spoke about our grandparents and gran grand parents who lived in east Europe for hundreds of years and dreamt about Erez Yisrael , but the distance was so huge! They couldn't even imagine traveling there.
Now everything is so simple, you can get anywhere is the world so fast and so easy, and if you are a member of the global middle class, you can travel anywhere in the world without such an effort.
The thing is that from one hand it is relay fantastic and unbelievable that we can travel so much and so easy, but the other side of the coin is that things are becoming the same and the world is actually becoming too small and boring.
Because of the traveling revolution and the communication revolution places looks so much the same and we the travelers because we travel so much are becoming less sensitive and excited about places we visit. It takes much more if at all - to move us.
I can recall my father describe to me his visits to Japan and America and sixties, everything was so new and exciting to him, the first time he landed in NY and the first time he tasted Ketchup and ate hamburger.
That kind of experince is something that very few people in our world stil have the chance to taste...
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Coming back from India/ Yu so pale
Flying back to China from India ,( with Uzbekistan on the way for 6 hours).
I remember an Israeli guy who was flying with me and our long talk in the airport restaurant in Taskhent , me siting on the bar and him drinking beer while lying on the floor.
After arriving to Beijing I went to eat Jauzie near Beijing Train Station,( WHY? Probably because I waited so long for the moment of seeing Jing Yi so I was afraid it will happen to soon), then taking a taxi home .
Her cousin opened the door , almost surprised to see me, but Jing Yi is out, the mobile off.
The cousine went out to call Jing yi, after a while Jing Yi is coming, with a thin grey dress and sandals coming from the dark ,(it was almost 21 PM).
I taught so much about the moment I was sure it will be so exciting, but she looked almost apatic, and just said she was sure I am coming back only tomorrow.
I looked at Yu and she looked so pale , almost like I watched her from a black and white old TV set.
I remember an Israeli guy who was flying with me and our long talk in the airport restaurant in Taskhent , me siting on the bar and him drinking beer while lying on the floor.
After arriving to Beijing I went to eat Jauzie near Beijing Train Station,( WHY? Probably because I waited so long for the moment of seeing Jing Yi so I was afraid it will happen to soon), then taking a taxi home .
Her cousin opened the door , almost surprised to see me, but Jing Yi is out, the mobile off.
The cousine went out to call Jing yi, after a while Jing Yi is coming, with a thin grey dress and sandals coming from the dark ,(it was almost 21 PM).
I taught so much about the moment I was sure it will be so exciting, but she looked almost apatic, and just said she was sure I am coming back only tomorrow.
I looked at Yu and she looked so pale , almost like I watched her from a black and white old TV set.
From Tibet to ,( Maybe), Korea
My plan to fly to Korea remained YU of my trip to Tibet.
It happened 8 years ago when we just knew each other for a very brief time.
She was already pregnant with Nami ,( everything happened so fast!), and I was determined to travel to Tibet.
I am not so sure when and where I made the decision to travel to Tibet ,( and afterwords to Nepal and India), but I just know that in May - June 2001 I was not ready to give up at all .
I am very sorry I didn't write a diary during that time because now it is even hard for me to imagine what I told my self when I left YU pregnant in the second month and after knowing her only for such a short time.
It looks so crazy from now, I remember even arguing with her about things I don't want to remind myself of, and other things I said and did that I prefer to forget.
By the way one little detail ,( For you Jing Yi - I know you are reading ), is that I loved Yu so much during this trip, that even when I got sick in India I wasn't worried about myself at all, I was just so concerned about meeting Yu again.
And although at some point I didn't know if I am going to get alive from India, I was much much more worried about Yu and seeing her again.
For the first time in my life I loved someone more than I love myself.
It happened 8 years ago when we just knew each other for a very brief time.
She was already pregnant with Nami ,( everything happened so fast!), and I was determined to travel to Tibet.
I am not so sure when and where I made the decision to travel to Tibet ,( and afterwords to Nepal and India), but I just know that in May - June 2001 I was not ready to give up at all .
I am very sorry I didn't write a diary during that time because now it is even hard for me to imagine what I told my self when I left YU pregnant in the second month and after knowing her only for such a short time.
It looks so crazy from now, I remember even arguing with her about things I don't want to remind myself of, and other things I said and did that I prefer to forget.
By the way one little detail ,( For you Jing Yi - I know you are reading ), is that I loved Yu so much during this trip, that even when I got sick in India I wasn't worried about myself at all, I was just so concerned about meeting Yu again.
And although at some point I didn't know if I am going to get alive from India, I was much much more worried about Yu and seeing her again.
For the first time in my life I loved someone more than I love myself.
Back
Didn't write for so long...Doesn't mean I had nothing to write about actually its the opposite...
Monday, April 6, 2009
Today in the morning my hurt was broken...In the middle of my dream I heard Ita cries...I woke up,( by the way I hate to wake up early especially when I still have some time to sleep and someone is waking me up crying).
I was angry about him and after a warning smacked him. He was crying in any case because he wanted to change his trousers, but Yu told me that last night he said that he loves Mami Ayi and Sister when she asked him about Dadi he said that I am HUI DAN- means bad.
She asked why and than he said illustrating with his fingers that : a) I use computer all the time b) I pray all the time c) I don't play with him d) I beat him.
I turned my had around put it in the pillow and almost cried.
He relay broke my hurt and from the right reason. I don't give enough attention to my children. And the real sad thing that I am not doing it for the wrong reasons, I am waisting my time doing bullshit.
For example for years I used to spend hours reading Haaretz newspapers on line every day.
This precious time had to be spent on my children , but this time is wasted for ever, and it hurts me so much.
Actually it was even worse, With Nami in the first years of her life I almost didn't give any attention to her, in recent years I changed allot and now I am giving much more attention to Nami and Ita, but it is still far from enough.
I was angry about him and after a warning smacked him. He was crying in any case because he wanted to change his trousers, but Yu told me that last night he said that he loves Mami Ayi and Sister when she asked him about Dadi he said that I am HUI DAN- means bad.
She asked why and than he said illustrating with his fingers that : a) I use computer all the time b) I pray all the time c) I don't play with him d) I beat him.
I turned my had around put it in the pillow and almost cried.
He relay broke my hurt and from the right reason. I don't give enough attention to my children. And the real sad thing that I am not doing it for the wrong reasons, I am waisting my time doing bullshit.
For example for years I used to spend hours reading Haaretz newspapers on line every day.
This precious time had to be spent on my children , but this time is wasted for ever, and it hurts me so much.
Actually it was even worse, With Nami in the first years of her life I almost didn't give any attention to her, in recent years I changed allot and now I am giving much more attention to Nami and Ita, but it is still far from enough.
Monday, March 23, 2009
There will be blood
I am a bit sorry that I didn't write an article or a short book about the financial crisis 3-4 years ago.
It is almost unbelievable but back then I was talking and forecasting what is happening now.
In any case I relay hope I get this one wrong but it looks to me that when,( and I assume very fast), the American people will find out the the new " Toxic saving bankers plan " will fail they want remain as quite as they were till now.
Lets hope I am wrong.
It is almost unbelievable but back then I was talking and forecasting what is happening now.
In any case I relay hope I get this one wrong but it looks to me that when,( and I assume very fast), the American people will find out the the new " Toxic saving bankers plan " will fail they want remain as quite as they were till now.
Lets hope I am wrong.
Starnge days indeed
Yesterday night I was trying to figure out if I can remember Sadat first visit to Israel.
I think that I can remember something: my father is holding me he is sitting in the coach in front of our old black and white TV and I see Sadadt climbing down from the aeroplane.
Actually I am not so sure that my memory is real.
But in any case it made me think about historical development and how reality is changing in our lifetime.
I defiantly remember the fall of the Berlin Wall, although I didn't care too much back than.
Now I believe we are again in a very crucial moment in the history of man kind.
It is pretty obvious to me that the US is facing its last stand as the sole superpower and although I am not an economic expert the little I know, makes me almost sure that instead of dealing seriously with the economic problems the American government is choosing the easy and most probably wrong way to try to improve the situation.
Very interesting times indeed...
I think that I can remember something: my father is holding me he is sitting in the coach in front of our old black and white TV and I see Sadadt climbing down from the aeroplane.
Actually I am not so sure that my memory is real.
But in any case it made me think about historical development and how reality is changing in our lifetime.
I defiantly remember the fall of the Berlin Wall, although I didn't care too much back than.
Now I believe we are again in a very crucial moment in the history of man kind.
It is pretty obvious to me that the US is facing its last stand as the sole superpower and although I am not an economic expert the little I know, makes me almost sure that instead of dealing seriously with the economic problems the American government is choosing the easy and most probably wrong way to try to improve the situation.
Very interesting times indeed...
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Its "Yu" Again
The funniest/frustrating/ amazing/ craziest/ lovable/ corrupted/ stupid/ wrong/ false/truth/ exciting/ downsizing/ sexy/ unfounded .......is when YU says she doesn't love me.
HA HA HA
HA HA HA
Last post for tonight...
So sorry that I don't write a diary, a glance to the black one shows what a wonderful time I had before.
It reminds me all the things I almost forgot, and how I could be if I am young .
It makes me a bit sad of becoming old, I remember how excited I used to be from every little thing that happened in my life: from a Pagoda in the forbidden city to New York for the first time, coming from the airport at 5 AM, a movie of Torantino by myself in cinema Lev in Tel Aviv , a rice pot in the Korean restaurant near my dorm , the desert in Tibet and the river in Mongolia and the blond girl that gave me her number in the Subway of Berlin.
I was so optimistic and so pure,every little thing made me so happy and grateful, now I am so "cold" and cynical.
Wish I was young again...
It reminds me all the things I almost forgot, and how I could be if I am young .
It makes me a bit sad of becoming old, I remember how excited I used to be from every little thing that happened in my life: from a Pagoda in the forbidden city to New York for the first time, coming from the airport at 5 AM, a movie of Torantino by myself in cinema Lev in Tel Aviv , a rice pot in the Korean restaurant near my dorm , the desert in Tibet and the river in Mongolia and the blond girl that gave me her number in the Subway of Berlin.
I was so optimistic and so pure,every little thing made me so happy and grateful, now I am so "cold" and cynical.
Wish I was young again...
The black diary
I am reading now my old black dairy,
two things are coming to my mind:
1) I was so dam talented then...What a potential!
2) It was so wonderful to be a single! I totally forgot how great it is.
two things are coming to my mind:
1) I was so dam talented then...What a potential!
2) It was so wonderful to be a single! I totally forgot how great it is.
8 Years with YU
It is already almost 8 years with YU, it is hard even to imagne I had any life before...How could I live with out her?
Monday, March 2, 2009
Boaz birthday
Today is my brother birthday, he was born in 3.3.83.
That day was probably the best day of my life.
I can still recall waking up by my father who came and laid beside me when I was sleeping in the small room in our old house . He held my arm and said so happily " Mazal Tov" you have a little brother!
on the way to school leaving the house I saw him calling my grandmother ,( his mother), and saying so excited to her that she should say " Mazal Tov" to him .
I felt so good....
Now when I am old I start to think that there is another reason but my brother that made me feel so great ...It was my father -I never saw him more happy and excited in my life.
That day was probably the best day of my life.
I can still recall waking up by my father who came and laid beside me when I was sleeping in the small room in our old house . He held my arm and said so happily " Mazal Tov" you have a little brother!
on the way to school leaving the house I saw him calling my grandmother ,( his mother), and saying so excited to her that she should say " Mazal Tov" to him .
I felt so good....
Now when I am old I start to think that there is another reason but my brother that made me feel so great ...It was my father -I never saw him more happy and excited in my life.
A letter from Elijah
Yesterday night I read in the book " A letter from Elijah" by Rabbi Eliyao Dessler that the only fear someone has in his life is the fear of his sins.
I can't agree more, at least in my life the fears I have are all probably coming from there.
So FDR should have probably say"the only thing we should fear is the sin itself".
I can't agree more, at least in my life the fears I have are all probably coming from there.
So FDR should have probably say"the only thing we should fear is the sin itself".
Monday, February 16, 2009
Under the blanket
It was snowing today in the morning
Nothing heavy, just a bit
Still like always it made me so happy
The feeling that something is coming from above
With the special light that coloured the sky
I just wish I could spend it with you
Under the blanket with our legs crossed
Sleeping with the curtain opened
While the snow is drifting behind
Nothing heavy, just a bit
Still like always it made me so happy
The feeling that something is coming from above
With the special light that coloured the sky
I just wish I could spend it with you
Under the blanket with our legs crossed
Sleeping with the curtain opened
While the snow is drifting behind
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Election in Israel
I love the election so much!
For me like always it is a holiday...Maybe even will wake up in the middle of the night to see the outcome....
For me like always it is a holiday...Maybe even will wake up in the middle of the night to see the outcome....
My Saba and Safta House
If there is a place that I miss in my life it is probably my grandparents house. The house is located in a small settlement that used to be a sort of a village till the city grew so much and it became come kind of a city suburb. It used to be a small and modest place with one street and few allies. It had a very socialist style at least until 30 years ago. The area changed allot since then and became an extremely expensive neighborhood. I was always worried about my father,( and his sister), selling the place, scared the memories I had from the place will disappear when the house will go to different hands... It didn't happen, last month my father and aunt sold the place. I am still missing the place and although it is not "OURS" anymore I still feel it is a part of me now like it used to be before. I miss my time there , talking to my grandparents drinking my grandmother soup , sitting outside on the porch in a rainy day or in the grass during the summer eating fresh fruits from the trees and listening to stories I heard million time already.
All these things are long gone, and now the new people will probably build a huge house with a swimming pool and soon I wont be able to recognize the place. But I will still go back in my dreams. Because the best dreams I have are the dreams I meet my grandparents again, everything is so natural and relaxed, and I feel so safe and happy with them.
All these things are long gone, and now the new people will probably build a huge house with a swimming pool and soon I wont be able to recognize the place. But I will still go back in my dreams. Because the best dreams I have are the dreams I meet my grandparents again, everything is so natural and relaxed, and I feel so safe and happy with them.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Waltz with Bashir
Saw the movie once and a half times already ...Liked it allot at the beginning ,( and still now), although there is a feeling that something is missing....Probably not enough substance and the characters are not developing enough during the movie .
I think that if the director had spent some more time in developing the script the movie could relay become a classic movie.But of course if he had spent some more time in devloping the movie he might had missed the "great timing" of the war in Gaza.
The bottom line:
a) I am so jealous ...Ari Flomen relay did it...I can only imagine ,( again with jealousy), how he feels now and how he will feel when B"H he will win the Oscar.
b) In few of the senses there is rain pouring down in Tel Aviv, it reminds me how much I miss the rain in Tel Aviv ,(or even just in Peth Tikva).
I think that if the director had spent some more time in developing the script the movie could relay become a classic movie.But of course if he had spent some more time in devloping the movie he might had missed the "great timing" of the war in Gaza.
The bottom line:
a) I am so jealous ...Ari Flomen relay did it...I can only imagine ,( again with jealousy), how he feels now and how he will feel when B"H he will win the Oscar.
b) In few of the senses there is rain pouring down in Tel Aviv, it reminds me how much I miss the rain in Tel Aviv ,(or even just in Peth Tikva).
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