Wife

I am pretty sure that Yu to some extend is insane I don't know if I have anyresponsibility but I feel very sorry for it . The fact is that me although not using my full potential and often committing sins that make me hate myself , still after all is a happy person. But Yu just can't be happy. It makes me even more sad when I understand she will never be Happy, cause she doesn't know what happiness means and she is probably to old to learn. It is such a shame, a waste of life of someone so talented and beautiful , that just don't know how and for what to live.

A way

I was planing to write this piece yesterday and everything was already organized in my head, but now when I am sitting in front of the computer it is hard again to describe it, I have to think it all over again.
Basically what I am trying to describe is the fact that probably I am not the right guy to run a family life, or any normal life at all.
I am lazy corrupted and more than anything else concentrated in my self and in what I find interesting and exciting to satisfy me desires and I don't care about any one around me , especily the closest .
It is very sad and disappointing but that's my life.
If I have to choose something that makes me happy and "my self" more than anything else it is probably going to a new place for the first time.
Seeing things I never saw before and walking by my self , as a total stranger in a new space.
No one knows me , I am alone, no responsibilities ,small money in my pocket, and I am walking walking....Smiling to a beautiful girl , eating a cheap snack in the street and living in my own reality.
busy doing "new" things , meeting " new people "and seeing " new places".
Before I was sure I love my wife, many times lying in bed seeing her sleeping I taught to my self that she is more important to me than myself...Maybe it was truth when it happened , but I am not so sure at all, I am so selfish, and that's probably just what I felt comfortable to think that moment.
The bottom line that I am bad and don't have much moral standards when it comes to people that are relay close to me,( actually for people that are less close I am more or less ok).
I don't know where I am going to lead my self , but I am grateful for what I got so far....It is much more than I deserve.
Still I feel I am not happy, first because hurting so many people in your life is bad and second because I am not doing what I should do.
I think I have a potential to do something good in this life, I just not sure what and how.

A request

I know you already so much, what you are and what you don't.
And what you can't even all the words in the world wont make you see.
So I wont spend my time trying to change you any more.
But one request I still have:
In crazy times, when you lose your sense and you become so depressed remember one thing,
You have a man , that is always with you so deep, never apart.

Norway and India

Read this morning a report about Norway economy in NYT,
It is amazing to compare Norway GDP - a country of 4 million people to India with its 1.1 billion
Norway GDP in 2008 was 456,226 Billion and India 1,209,686 Billion.
It is crazy, GDP of 4 million people is around 40% of the total GDP of 1.1 billion .

Paul Krugman In China- Hilarious

People are paying 58000 RMB ,( almost 9,000$!), to sit in the front row and listen to Paul Krugman.

The Office

Does it make sense to open an office?
Not sure at all with the amount of money we make so far...

Beijing/ A sugestion for a documentary .

I have an excellent idea for a documentary : The unbelievable change of Beijing from a city that used to be actualy a big village, with small family oriented integrated communities living in every street,( Huotongs). To a huge post modern mega city, LA style.

World war 2 winners and losers/ email to D

Today in Mendi house you spoke about the fact that Russia is actually the big winner of the second world world, didn't answer you immediatly but I am not sure I can agree with you.First it is very hard to calculate winners and losers in this war ,take Japan and Germany that lost the war but became ,( with American money of course),a symbol of an economic revival .
From the other hand you can look at England one of the big winners of the war that had to give up its entire empire and become " Just another country " ,( with a seat in the security council ).
Russia became a big winner for a while,( no more than 30 years), but lost all its concession plus other territories it gained before the war ,( Ukraine), and disintegrated to become an unstable corrupted country with declining population and a shattered economy.
The two absolute winners of the second world war and the cold war are actually first and for most America that left beyond a deep depression and isolation to became the strongest super power and the leader of the free world.The second winner is China that was able to receive as a result of Japan defeat huge amount of disputed territories : the Russian part of Manchuria , inner Mongolia Xinjang and Tibet, that probably couldn't become " Chinese " other wise.Not to mention the seat in the security council.

I am coming back

The everyday life power....From being so upset and angry getting used to reality again.

Life is in another place

That's the feeling I had coming back from Korea,a very hard landing....Everything looks so dark and boring.

Happines

There is probably nothing in my life that's make me more happy than traveling , its a fact.And this fact is made from 2 parameters : a )First and for most I am the happiest person in the world when I travel ,( or at least the happiest person that I know), ...I am so myself in traveling so focused and so connected.
b) The "after the trip" feeling...Summarising and counting the countries and places I already visited till now, something that I do so often.

Back from Korea

Its a hard landing....
Feel so frustrated and nervous coming back to the everyday of Beijing,
I didn't even understand how much good it was in Korea till I found myself back in Beijing.
Hope this feeling will be over by lunch...